"The Perfect Mother" and Self-Compassion

I would never have described myself as a perfectionist. My house is frequently cluttered. My desk is covered with projects and reminders and stray papers. My kitchen floor is filthy.

For the longest time, my desktop was giant colorful graphic proclaiming "DONE IS BETTER PERFECT." That creed is not empty words to me. I believe it. I don't let perfection slow down my desire to complete a project. Perfectionism is paralyzing, as I would often lecture other people.

No, I was not a perfectionist.

Except...

I've recently realized that perfectionism is a deep, deep river that flows far beneath my attitude towards my house's cleanliness or craft projects. Just because I'll publish a blog post with typos or slap together class treats that are far from Pinterest-worthy doesn't mean that perfectionism doesn't affect me. 

The perfectionism that haunts me is far more insidious and harmful.

I want to be the perfect mother. 

When I look back, I can see the seeds of this perfectionism take root when I decided I wanted to move back Paducah to raise a family. I was asking Nicholas to give up so much. I was pushing us to change our entire lives. I had to make my case that the stakes were high enough to justify the level of risk we were taking on.

For months, I made the same argument. We were bringing a human being in to the world. We had to do it RIGHT. This little baby wasn't being asked to be born. So, it was our duty to him to give him the best life we possibly could. 

He had to have grandparents in his life. He had to have a community. He had to have good schools. Most importantly, he had to have parents that could BE THERE for him. Parents who didn't work all the time. Parents who could come to school programs. Parents who had real weekends to read stories and play games and go to the park.

And I still believe that. 

I know moving to Paducah was the right decision for our family. However, I see now that pushing so hard for this vision of "perfect parenting" created a voice in my head that speaks loudly and clearly to this day. 

Every. Single. Day. 

I'm constantly striving to please that voice. Are the boys watching too much television? Are we reading enough books? Are they eating enough fruits and vegetables. Are they sleeping enough? Are we disciplining enough? Are we being too hard on them?

Am I doing it RIGHT?

I don't want to silence this voice completely. I firmly subscribe to the Jacqueline Onassis school of parenting. She once famously said, "If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." I couldn't agree more.

Raising your children should be taken seriously because it is a serious thing. I will never stop reading and researching child development and parenting techniques. I will never stop trying to improve. I want to be the best possible mother I can be. My children deserve that.

However, striving for the best and striving for perfection are too different things. My perfectionism comes from a deep desire to control things. If I can control my environment, then I don't have to acknowledge the deep vulnerability at the heart of raising another human being. 

Erma Bombeck once described parenting as the decision to let your heart walk around outside your body. That is a truly scary prospect, but I can't change it or control it. I can perfectly portion my children's television consumption. I can feed them the most perfectly balanced meals ever created. I can read developmentally appropriate books while supervising mentally stimulating crafts ALL DAY LONG and it wouldn't matter. 

The journey I've chosen to take as a mother is fundamentally chaotic and beyond my control. That lesson came crashing down hard over my head earlier this year when I lost our baby. The voice in my head was loud and unapologetic.

I had ONE JOB - to carry that baby - and I had failed. I had failed as a mother. 

On a certain level, I knew how illogical I was being but the voice was crystal clear and truthfully it was only a matter of time before that voice got out of control. Since perfectionism is unattainable, I set up an unachievable standard for myself. And let me tell you, I was mean about it. I didn't realize how little self-compassion I had until I was describing these thoughts to my therapist.

"You're pretty hard on yourself, aren't you?" she replied.

I started crying, which is basically a big old fat "YEAH KIND OF."

I've also realized the harder I am on myself the harder I can be on those I love the most. After all, I'm beating the crap out of myself over here trying to be perfect so why can't you STEP IT UP!?!

But you know what? My perfectionism is NOT my husband's or my mother's or my best friend's problem. Plus, insider tip, being a judgmental nag isn't exactly the best way to motivate people... at least not in my experience. 

Beyond the adults in my life, what am I teaching my children? If the whole point is to create the best lives for my children possible, do I think they will do as I say or do as I do? It is heartbreaking to me to imagine the harsh voice in my head ever inhabiting my children's lives.

So, I'm trying to let go of the perfectionism and be kinder to myself. I recently discovered the work of Dr. Kristin Neff, who has made self-compassion her life's work. If you have a few minutes, I highly recommend her TedX Talk.

She also has a great website where you can take a self-compassion quiz. My score was NOT great but that's ok. Gotta be compassionate about it! Plus, I'm working on it. She also offers lots of great tips and advice on how to be more self-compassionate. 

One of her suggestions is to talk to yourself as you would a dear friend. I've thought a lot about that. Some of my dearest friends have suffered miscarriages or lost pregnancies. I would NEVER say to them the things I say to myself. Heck, I never even thought these things in relation to them. So, why the heck am I being so hard on myself?

For me, it all comes back to a toxic mix of perfectionism and a desire for control. I'm trying to let go of that. I've recently been reading about the Buddhist principle of detachment. It doesn't mean that you detach from action or desire. It means you detach from the results - from the things you truly can't control. 

That seems particularly relevant to parenting. 

In the end, all we can do is all we can do, then we have to let those little beings walk away ... even if they have our hearts in their hands. 

Do you struggle with perfectionism?

P.S. Grief and the choices we make it.

Why I'm a Democrat

I wrote this post 8 years ago in 2006. I still feel the same way. 

If I had to pinpoint a time when I began describing myself as a Democrat, it would be the winter of 2000. By this point, my transition from a good little Baptist conservative to what Cartman describes so aptly as a "college know-it-all hippie" was really in full swing. As you can imagine, 2000 was not the best year to switch parties because we started losing...a lot. 

It wasn't always easy to stand strong. 2004 was particularly devastating with pundit after pundit proclaiming the death of the Democratic party. However, I became and remain a Democratic because I believe to my very core that this party is better at governing our country. I do not believe that Republicans are evil (at least not ALL of them) or that they hate America. I do believe that the basic ideas of the Republican party spell disaster for America.

Corporate welfare does not work. Leaving corporations free to pursue the almighty dollar and expecting them to do what's best for America in the process is absurd. And who can blame them? It is their job to make a profit at all costs and most of them are pretty good at it. However, it is not their job to watch out for working men and women. It is the government's. The middle and lower classes of this country do not ask for much but when they do we should deliver. Democrats deliver. They delivered Social Security. They delivered the Family and Medical Leave Act. And they will deliver a raise in the minimum wage.

Wedge issues might be an election strategy but they are not a governing strategy. Without a doubt, religious and social values are important. It was a strong faith in God that led Americans to demand an end to slavery, an end to segregation and the right to vote for women. However, reducing complex issues of morality and faith into divisive discussions on abortion and gay marriage is wrong. Morality in government really means less corruption. In the first 100 hours, Speaker Pelosi has already said the first item on her agenda will be to close the revolving door between legislators and lobbying.

Nation building does not work. It never has and it never will. Being strong on national security requires diplomacy and restraint, not brute force and moral judgment. Our experiment in Iraq has failed. By refusing to address our failure, we have also made North Korea and Iran more powerful and more dangerous. Without a doubt, we are less safe and less secure. Democrats will demand the accountability that has been sorely lacking in our government's foreign policy. Tough questions are ahead but that does not mean they should not be asked. 

I believe in the Democratic party. Not because we are perfect or have all the answers - but because the foundation of our party is built on real solutions for this country.

7th Grade Life List: The Unchecked Items

In 7th grade, I made a list of 64 goals I wanted to achieve in my life. Some were big (Win an Oscar, a Tony, and a Grammy) and some not so big (Read Gone with the Wind). After having a fabulous experience checking one SUPER item off, I decided to keep at it and achieve as many of my 7th grade goals as possible.

I’ve had a lot of fun checking items off my 7th Grade Life List. Ok, maybe reading The Autobiography of Malcolm X wasn’t FUN, but it was enlightening. And while I still have plans to mark some more off the list (I’m coming for you Harlem Globetrotters!), I think it’s time to face a basic fact.

Some items will go unchecked.

Some are impossible. I am never going to sing with Whitney Houston (#2). Sure, I could game the system and just sing with someone named Whitney Houston but that’s not the point. My 7th Grade Self who unapologetically sang "I Will Always Love You" on the bus ride home wanted to sing with THE Whitney and tragically she is gone forever.

I’m never going to be on People Magazine’s 50 Most Beautiful AND Intriguing List (#17). First off, they don’t even put out the Most Intriguing People list anymore. I suppose the Most Beautiful is still achievable but not sure there’s much I can do to actively achieve that one. I think I’ll settle for being on my husband’s most beautiful list instead.

I’ve also missed my chance to be a Merit Scholar (#61).

However, other items – while technically possible – are just not going to happen.

While I’m willing to entertain a scenario in which I record the most amazing audiobook and win a Grammy or participate in a documentary that wins an Oscar, I am never going to win a Tony (#1). Is participating in a Market House Theatre production on my list of things to try? Definitely! But I’m never going to move to New York City and make it on Broadway.

I’m also never going to walk on a Paris runway (#12). A runway model I am not … and never will be. It’s just that simple.

I am never going to sing at the Hollywood Bowl (#49) or have my own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame (#51). I will never have a gold album (#58) or host the Oscars (#64).

And you know what? I’m fine with that.

Those items reflect the dreams of a little girl who thought the actors and actresses she idolized lived the best possible version of life. Like many 7th graders before and since, I believed that fame and accolades made you happy.

I don’t remember the exact moment I realized that a career in the entertainment industry wasn’t for me. I do remember realizing in high school that I did not enjoy acting like someone else – that what I most enjoyed was being fully and completely myself. I also remember realizing that what I most admired (and envied) about actors and actresses wasn’t their long hours on a sound stage or complete loss of privacy, but rather their influence.

They spoke and people listened and THAT was something I could get behind. It just took a very long time to realize there was another way besides the casting couch.

Don’t get me wrong. I still LOVE all things pop culture. I love great writing and acting and storytelling. If Lena Dunham was to call and ask me to come hold a boom mike on Girls, I would abandon my family in a hot minute (kidding… sort of). However, I have no real desire to participate. The role of spectator suits me just fine.

One of my favorite truths is “You can do anything you want. You just can’t do everything you want.”

It is a fundamental truth of adulthood. 7th Grade Sarah wanted to be famous. However, as I grew up, there were other things I wanted more. I wanted to spend time with my friends instead of at auditions. I wanted to go to Transy. I wanted to marry Nicholas. I wanted to move to D.C. I wanted to have children.

After all, I wouldn’t trade Amos for an Emmy. I wouldn’t give up walking the streets of Paducah in fall for a Paris runway. I wouldn’t miss Sunday night dinners with my parents and grandmother to have a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

In the end, I like to think 7th Grade Sarah would agree.

What childhood dreams have you abandoned willingly?

Paducah Fall Days: 1 Great Event + 1 Day Trip

The Holland family has been soaking up the fabulous fall weather. Two weekends ago, we went to the Fort Massac Encampment. I've been attending the encampment - during which hobbyist reenact a battle from the French and Indian War - since I was a child and I LOVE introducing my boys to the fun of fake canon fire and Indian Fry Bread!

Mark your calendars because next year's encampment is October 17 and 18th!

Last weekend, we visited Pennyrile State Forest Resort Park to do some geocaching and take in the fall colors. I'd never been before but this small park has some great and family-friendly trails featuring VERY cool sandstone formations. I highly recommend it!

What are your families favorite fall activities?

Sarah & Shannon ARE BACK!

Y'all KNOW you were wondering when the team was getting back together to talk all things Erin Condren! 

Shannon and I got the 2014 holiday card collection in our hot little hands and couldn't wait to share it with everybody.

Even better, Erin Condren and her team love to share, too! So, how about a $200 gift card for one lucky reader towards your own holiday cards!?!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Amal Clooney and why I changed my name

The hard-charging international barrister Amal Alamuddin recently married a movie star and changed her name to Amal Clooney reigniting the age-old feminist debate over whether or not a woman should change her name upon marriage.

My decision to change my name came down to a simple majority vote conducted among my bridesmaids in the car on the way to my rehearsal dinner.

At the rehearsal, my uncle had asked how he should announce Nicholas and I at the end of the ceremony. I stood there paralyzed before finally admitting I still hadn't decided. Suddenly, my friends and relatives were weighing in from the audience.

“It's such an honor!”

“Do what you want.”

Finally, Nicholas yelled above the crowd, “Just say Nicholas and Sarah.”

The vote wasn't because I didn't take the decision seriously. Quite the opposite. I was a newly minted Women's Studies minor and whether or not to change my name seemed like the most serious decision I would ever make.

In fact, I came very, very close to calling off the engagement altogether after a serious fight with Nicholas over the issue. I had been battling the the pros and cons for months when I approached Nicholas with the perfect solution.

We would create a new name!

After all, it didn't bother me that I was changing my name. A name change seemed appropriately symbolic for this new phase in my life. I was changing everything else – my relationship status, my independence, my living arrangement, my location – so why not change my name as well?

What bothered me was that I was the only one changing my name.

I was taking his name. I was losing my identity as Sarah Lyn Stewart, while he got to maintain his. Where was the fairness in that? We were entering a committed relationship as equals so why was I the only one indicating that change to the outside world by changing my name?

So, here was the perfect solution. We'd create a new name! I even had one picked out. A professor at our liberal arts university had combined his and his wife's last names and I loved the ideas so we could do the same. The “H” from Holland and the “art” from Stewart to form Hart. Plus, how perfect that it sounded like heart!

I made my pitch to Nicholas.

He balked. I was devastated. Hours of fighting came down to one simple point. He wasn't asking me to change my name so he didn't think it was fair for me to ask him to change his.

It was a fair point. If he wasn't asking me to change my name, what was the issue any way?

I had talked about whether or not to change my name with my college mentor and women's studies professor. She hadn't changed her name and never regretted it. She even had an insanely common name that led to all manner of mix-ups and clerical errors. Still, she said she never even considered it.

However, she had also recently had a child when the issue had arisen all over again. In fact, that was one of my main problems with not changing my name. It seemed like you just delayed the debate until you had kids.

I strongly disliked it when women who had kept their last names automatically gave the children the husband's name. Something about that set very, very badly with me. After all, you carried the baby, you birthed the baby, then you had to spend the rest of your life explaining that they were yours without the easy societal indicator of the child's last name. NO. WAY.

My professor had decided to hyphenate her child's name, which seemed on the surface like a great idea for any future children. Of course, the reason I decided against hyphenating myself is because I am WAY too lazy (or efficient?) to spend precious seconds of my life writing out an insanely long last name. It seemed unfair to curse my future children to a fate I didn't want for myself.

Plus, what were they supposed to do when they got married and had children? Keep hyphenating forever. I didn't want to merely gift my indecision to the next generation. Thinking about generations is ultimately how I came to make peace with following the vote of my bridesmaids and changing my name.

Not only of future generations but past generations, which I had recently started thinking a lot about thanks to a new found interest in ancestry. I couldn't even begin to imagine how complicated my research would be if everyone had thrown caution to the wind and started making up the name-changing rules as they went. Sure, the practice of a woman taking her husband's name had some troubling and patriarchal history, but – let's be honest – so did marriage itself and I was still entering into that institution willingly.

After all, I felt confident other women in my family felt sad to leave their last names behind like I did but followed the pull of societal rules just the same – at least I'd be in good company. Truth be told, I have a conservative streak. I believe in the rules of society, and, while I think improvements can always be made, I follow a more pragmatic than revolutionary approach.

In the grand analysis, I decided the pros of changing my name outweighed the cons. I purposefully kept my maiden name and use all three professionally. I also get VERY angry if addressed in person or otherwise as Mrs. Nicholas Holland. The day of our wedding my new husband and I were announced as Sarah and Nicholas.

I've been Sarah Stewart Holland for over a decade now and I've built a new identity surrounding that name of which I am very proud. Not to mention, in one instance, changing my name changed the course of my life. Law school sections at my school are assigned alphabetically. As a Holland, I was in Section 2. Had I remained a Stewart I would have been in Section 4. While I know the people of Section 4 to be perfectly lovely, I cannot possibly imagine my life without the friendships I formed that first hard year with Goo, Harper, Halliday, Holz, and Israel (who have all since changed their names – go figure.)

I tell my story to say a lot of thought (and drama) went into my decision and I'm assuming the same for Amal Clooney. She deserves the benefit of the doubt and not to have her very personal decision turned into a feminist debate.

This decision to change your last name isn't an easy one – no matter how famous that name may be.

Did you change your name? Why or why not?

P.S. Why marriage deserves to be celebrated.

P.P.S. Marriage Isn't For  You: A rebuttal

4 Reasons Kids Don't Need Cake

Photo Credit: Theresa Thompson via Compfight cc

A school district in Boone County, Kentucky recently received a great deal of media attention. There were no new test scores or viral videos or even school violence. No, the school board got a lot of attention for a new rule.

While revising the district’s wellness policy, the Boone County school district decided to ban food from birthday celebrations.

That’s right. No more cupcakes. No more ice cream. No more frosting or sprinkles or icing.

And, let me tell you, people are in an UPROAR.

Here’s delightful sampling of some of the opinions our local NBC station’s Facebook page:

Post by WPSD-TV.

The opposition seems to have a couple common complaints.

“Let kids be kids!”

I’m not even sure what this means. Childhood is not synonymous with sugar. Happiness and fun and memories are often linked to food but they don’t require it.

I promise you my sons’ memories of Disney World will not revolve around the meals but rather the experiences. Sure, the Dole Whips were delicious but the fun we had riding rides, seeing shows, and laughing together far outweighed any temporary sugar rush.

Birthdays – at EVERY age – can be celebrated without sugar. In fact, I’ve written before about my concerns that too often we use sugar to celebrate whether it be an important milestone or good behavior. I don’t want to teach my kids that the only way to mark a happy occasion is with a sweet treat.

Happiness doesn’t require sugar and a lack of sugar doesn’t mean unhappiness.

Kids are way more resilient and creative than we give them credit for, so the idea that a lack of sugar is some type of “punishment” sells them very, very short. If you’ve ever seen a child play with a cardboard box, you understand what I mean.

“It’s lack of exercise that’s the REAL problem.”

Is the lack of physical activity among today’s kids a problem? Absolutely.

However, we will not even BEGIN to tackle childhood obesity without also seriously altering our nation’s diet – especially the consumption of processed foods high in sugar.

The recommended daily sugar intake for children in preschool and early elementary school is 3 to 4 teaspoons. The average 4- to 8- year old consumes FIVE TIMES THAT AMOUNT IN A DAY.

I don’t care if your child is doing jumping jacks from dawn to dusk consuming that much sugar is a problem. It’s a problem that has to be addressed on every level - at every meal, snack, and – YES – special occasion.

“It didn’t kill me!”

This one is my favorite lines and I hear this often when I express any opinion that is a shift from the traditional knowledge on raising a child.

First of all, I’m aiming for a smidgen higher than merely keeping my kids alive.

I’d like them to not merely survive – but thrive! In almost every area of health, we are failing. We are one of the sickest, overly-medicated, fattest countries on the planets and our kids are expected to be worse off than us.

I know serious change is hard but serious change is what is required if we want to improve our children's future.

”This is all the government’s/Michele Obama’s fault”

The Constitution does not assure you or your children the fundamental right to sugar. I’m sorry. It just doesn’t.

When the federal government decides to use scientific evidence to change the dietary requirements of school lunches, they are WELL within their rights. When you participate in the public school system, you accept that you will not have total and complete control over every aspect of your child’s life when they are inside the walls of the school.

Believe me, I don’t always like that either but I also have to accept that deep, deep down I don’t always know what’s best for my child. I am not expert in elementary curriculum or early childhood education or how the hell you feed 50 5-year-olds in 20 minutes.

And you know what? I don’t want to be.

So, I say "Go for it, Boone County!" Your new rule is a step in the right direction and I hope other school districts follow your lead!

P.S. Why I hate public playgrounds.

What do you think? Should birthday cake be sacred?

Check out our discussion on Facebook.

Post by Sarah Stewart Holland.

The Best Advice for visiting the Magic Kingdom with Small Kids

Here are the lessons we learned from our first visit to Disney World's Magic Kingdom with a 5-year-old and 3-year-old!

We've just returned from our first family trip to Disney World and we had a blast! After months of planning, I have to say our day at the Magic Kingdom was indeed magical and I'm here to share all our tips, tricks, and advice. 

Click here for our complete itinerary. 

Don't get sucked in. 

First and foremost, don't get sucked into the Disney machine. When we first started planning, I felt all this pressure to DO. DISNEY. I had to stay on site! I had to spend the entire week visiting all the parks! I had to get the dining plan! I had to call at 6am six months in advance to book all the character meals or my children's vacation would be RUINED!!!

Then, I took a deep breath and calmed the heck down.

I know many people believe on taking vacations "for the kids." I'm just not one of them. After all, I have a job. My kids don't. I actually need a vacation and I had no desire to spend my much-needed vacation trudging all over Disney World.

For our first trip, we decided one day was plenty and that Magic Kingdom had the most to offer kids our boys' ages (and heights). 

Do your research.

Buy The Unofficial Guide to Disney. It's the Bible of Disney planning and there's a reason for that. This massive tome contains the best advice for visiting every Disney resort, park, restaurant, and ride.

The best part? The guide also contains touring plans with step-by-step schedules for how to see the best each park has to offer depending on how long you are going to stay and how old you are.

The book recommends linking up to touringplans.com to customize your touring plan and - at first - I was skeptical. I wasn't sure I needed a paid service for just one day.

I was wrong.

I strongly recommend touringplans.com. You can create highly customized plans based on everything from how fast you walk to when your fast passes reservations are. This website was how we were able to visit 23 of the Magic Kingdom's most visited shows and rides in only one day with barely any waiting in line. 

Full disclosure: I had a lot of problem with the site's app while we were at the park but I still think it was worth it. I do recommend printing your customized plan just in case. 

Make ALL your reservations up front.

So, turns out, "the make your reservations 180 days in advance" thing IS important, especially if you want your kids to experience a character meal (aka meet and greets with their favorite Disney characters during the meal). After surveying the character meal options, we decided to go to the Ohana's Best Friend Breakfast because my boys LOVE Lilo and Stitch.

I also decided to reserve the character breakfast for the morning after our day at Magic Kingdom 1) so I didn't eat into our touring time and 2) to extend the magic a big longer. 

My mistake was I stopped worrying about reservations after we had the character meal booked. I should have made our reservation for dinner at the park 180 days in advance as well, especially since there were seven of us. We ate breakfast and lunch outside the park but it would have been nice to have had dinner plans right as we were needing a break.

Instead, we ended up winging it. Our meal at Columbia Harbour House was fine but I think a dinner at Be Our Guest would have been better!

Build the excitement

I love a countdown. Nothing builds the anticipation like counting down the days until a trip.

After surveying Pinterest suggestions, I knew I wanted to include watching movies the most popular attractions were based on, making autograph books and other crafts, as well as easy activities like Disney coloring pages and online games.

Then, I had a BREAKTHROUGH!

Who said I had to assign a particular activity to each day? I always hate doing that because you inevitably end up with a complicate and time-consuming activity on a day when you have a mere five minutes to spare!

So, I color-coded the activities instead! 

Blue = Less than 15 minutes activities including previewing a ride on YouTube or printing a coloring page.

Red = Watching an attraction-related Disney movie

Yellow = Longer, more involved activities and crafts 

Can I tell you? It worked like a CHARM! We got our Disney shirts made, our autograph books decorated, and every Disney film watched while excitedly counting down the days to Disney!

The Day Of...

• Get there an hour before the gates open. This is not a joke. First, you beat the crowds on some of the most popular attractions. Second, they do a little show and a countdown and it is so much fun!
• Rent a stroller and attach a balloon. Unless your child is upper elementary school, the walking will most likely be too much so the stroller is a lifesaver. The balloon helps you find your stroller in the parking zone AND your party in a crowd!
• Take. The. Break. The Unofficial Guide recommends taking a 3 hour break in the middle of the day to eat lunch and rest. They are the experts for a reason. Do it. 
• See the Festival of Fantasy parade. The Main Street Electric Parade is awesome and see that as well but I think the daytime parades are a little forgotten. We stumbled upon it as we returned from our break (around 3pm) and I'm so glad we did! 
• FastPass+ strategically. I'm still not an expert on this system but luckily there are people who are. 
• I read several tips that recommended bringing your own light up necklaces to avoid paying for Disney's $12 fanciness. I hate to burst your bubble but nothing purchased at the dollar store can hold up to Mickey's finest light-up stick. Amos was unimpressed and ended up with a Mickey stick from the cart. 
• Get the Dole Whip! It's worth it. I recommend a mid-morning snack instead of mid-afternoon when the line is LONG.
• Other than the essential Disney ears (and aforementioned light-up stick), we were able to avoid souvenir purchases. We packed so much fun into the day we really didn't have time. Instead, we went to one of the nearby Orlando Premier Outlets and purchased our souvenirs at a discount! 

The Big Hits with the Hollands

We truly had a magical time at the Magic Kingdom. There wasn't a single ride or show that that was disappointing. However, there were some that were BIG hits with our boys. Amos loved Peter Pan's Flight and Under the Sea - The Journey of The Little Mermaid (also my favorite!). I think for preschoolers anything that closely recreates the film is the most entrancing and both of these rides do an excellent job. Griffin loved the Dumbo playground (not to be confused with the actual ride) where you wait until it's your turn to ride Dumbo. So, word to the wise, don't waste your FastPass here because the waiting area is half the fun. He also laughed. his. butt. off. at Mickey's PhilharMagic (also Nicholas's favorite). 

Overall, I really couldn't have asked for a better day. No meltdowns. Little whining. Lots and lots of fun and magical moments that left me on the verge of tears.

My friend Amy says every kid should take a trip to Disney around kindergarten and I have to agree. Griffin was the perfect age to enjoy the Magic Kingdom. For Amos, we're considering a Disney Cruise. Then, for the finale with baby #3, we might go all in for the week at Disney. There's no way we could cram in fun for the big boys and baby in one day and there'd still be plenty of time for mom to rest by the pool!

As we were leaving the park (at midnight!), Griffin and I were discussing how no one had more fun that day at Disney than we did. He looked up at me with a smile.

 "Thanks, Mom, for planning this awesome day!"

And THAT, my friends, was worth every penny and hour spent!

What are your best Disney tips? 

Post by Sarah Stewart Holland.