#NaNoWriMo: Halfway through

On November 1st, I signed a pledge to write a 50,000 word novel by November 30th.

I did not invent this ridiculous deadline. I am joining thousands of writers in National Novel Writing Month. The idea being that you just get out of your own way and WRITE. No endless plotting and planning. No stalling to edit. No being paralyzed by perfection.

1,600 words a day. Sit down and type.

I'm halfway through and 24,852 words in and I'm exhausted.

I started out excited. I had a concept I was excited about. I had done a modicum of character research and planning. I thought I had a plot.

About five days in, I realized I did not, in fact, have a plot so my characters kept meeting, talking, then running away again. I could set up a scene. I could introduce everyone, but then they had nothing to do. 

I think I've gotten a little bit better but, honestly, I'm not sure. I've got plot holes and missing context and bad dialogue.

But, I also have what could be described as a book!

More importantly, I'm learning lessons I never would have learned without sitting down and just STARTING. I'm learning keeping characters realistic AND interesting is a challenge. I'm learning that real life people are a great source of inspiration but not a great source of action. I'm learning that every thousand words or so I write something and think, "Wow, I wasn't expecting that but it's really good!"

I'm learning that writing 2,000 words or so a day stretches my creative muscles far beyond where I thought they could reach. It leaves me exhausted in the best possible way.

Two. More. Weeks.

Letter to my 15-year-old self

Dear 15-year-old Sarah,

First of all, let's talk about your hair. It's glorious! You will not appreciate that hair until it starts falling out in chunks after your first baby but dang it's so thick and SHINY. You won't have it that long again so enjoy it. You should also enjoy that beautiful complexion, which you falsely believe to have acne.

You don't know acne, girl.

You will. When you get pregnant for the first time and your skin erupts and scars, you will regret all those years stressing your "bad" skin.

Now that we've got the superficial things out of the way, let's address the only other thing you really care about...boys. Boys that are starting to pay attention to you for the first time. You will meet a boy on this trip to California. Nothing serious but it will usher in a new phase - a phase where boys stop being something you dream about and start becoming something you have to actually deal with.

It won't be easy and I won't ruin any surprises because the lessons you learn along the way are worth it. There are no shortcuts along the path to self-acceptance and self-confidence when it comes to men. 

Just know things will turn out fine in the end. It won't be the romantic comedy plot you've internalized at this point.

It will be so much better.

I do wish I could tell you one thing. One thing that would save some time and effort and money.  I know it doesn't work that way. That even if I could go back and tell you to do things differently I'd end up in Marty McFly's high top sneakers upsetting the balance of fate and the universe and my hovercraft...but still if I COULD I would say this. 

You are a writer. Not a lawyer. Not a lobbyist. Not a bureaucrat. 

A writer. Don't fight it. Don't listen to the voices that say you're not good enough or it's a dream too big. Even now at 15 you know that's the only thing you love to do all the time - no matter what. When things get tough or confusing, where do you go? To your journal to write. That will not change and there's a reason for that. Because you are a writer and I wish it wouldn't take you - me - so long to see it. 

Love,

Sarah

Are college campuses becoming increasingly intolerant?

IMAGE: VICTOR WANG

On this week's episode of Pantsuit Politics, Beth and I ask if the recent uproar over an email regarding Halloween costumes at Yale is evidence of increasing intolerance among college students.

(Spoiler: Not really...)

Check it out.

The one household object I can't live without

I hate cleaning floors. Several years ago, I admitted cleaning floors was a thing I don't do. I pay a wonderful woman to come clean my house every couple of weeks and I had just decided that was going to have to be good enough.

Unfortunately, I learned I also hate dirty floors.

I'm not a clean freak. I don't notice dust. I can live with a certain amount of quotidian clutter. However, dirty floors drive. me. crazy.

It's all I notice. I tried having people take off their shoes. I trained the boys pretty well, but my husband is stubborn and my dog tracks in all manner of dirt. As I walk through the house, it's all I notice - a leaf here, a dustball there.

I also got a cordless vacuum and told myself I'd start sweeping nightly after dinner.

That lasted approximately 48 hours.

Finally, I decided I needed a better solution. I'd heard of Roombas - aka vacuuming robots - before. My in-laws had one, but I'd never really thought much about owning myself.

However, that was before I had three kids and zero leisure time.

I ordered one and waited patiently for its arrival.

Y'all. It took me one week to fall very, very hard for my Roomba.

I parked it under my sofa and scheduled it to run Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday mornings. On those days, I close the doors in the hallway and use virtual walls to contain the Roomba to our den and kitchen - the highest traffic areas in our home.

My Roomba - who I've decided to name Carson - vacuums while we're away then returns to its base after completing its route. He passes easily over and hardwood and sucks up all manner of junk.

During the week, I'm usually sitting at my desk in the back of the house when I hear him come on. The sound of that little machine cleaning my floors as I sit and do my work is literally the best part of my week. 

It took me a few weeks to figure out the best parameters and schedule for Carson and every once in a while I forget to close a door and he gets caught on my bedroom rug. He simply shuts down and waits patiently for me to come rescue him.

I love this robot SO. MUCH.

I now have clean floors without having to actually clean them. It's like a miracle straight out of The Jetsons. 

Forget flying cars! I'll take my Roomba any day of the week. 

Is Matt Bevin the end of the world?

First, everyone, thank you so much for all the kind words for Pantsuit Politics! Beth and I are so excited to have interesting discussions with each other and having all of you cheer us on makes it so much better. 

If you have a second, PLEASE leave us a review on iTunes. It helps our ranking and makes it so that more people can learn about the podcast!

We plan on posting a new episode every Wednesday but we couldn't bear to wait to talk about the shocking results of the Kentucky Governor's race (which... SPOILER... we got wrong!) so we're here today with a special episode!

Subscribe on iTunes or follow us on Facebook for news on our latest episodes and links to things we discuss in the show and more!

Special Episode: Is Matt Bevin the end of the world?

Pantsuit Politics

My new podcast!

Last year, in the midst of my Emerge Kentucky training, I had a brilliant idea. I would start a podcast about women and politics! I had a long list of people to interview. I even recorded one. I bought a microphone and had the amazing Pam Huber design the rockin' logo you see above.

Then, I just stopped.

I didn't want to do interviews - at least not by myself. In fact, I realized I didn't really want to do a podcast by myself either. So, my idea and my awesome microphone sat there.

Then, Beth reached into my brain and wrote this. 

EUREKA! Beth and I were already having this type of dialogue on the blog. I asked her if she'd be interested in taking our conversations live on a podcast and she was ALL IN.

Add in a husband - who is obsessed with podcasts and a genius at all technology - willing to be our Executive Producer and VOILA! Pantsuit Podcasts.

We break each episode into three parts: The Pearls where we discuss the top news of the week, The Suit where we dive into an issue and try to find common ground, and The Heels where we share something fun (and not necessarily politically related) that is making our lives better.

We're so excited to continue the conversation with each other and all of you!

You can subscribe via iTunes or email so the podcast is delivered right to your mailbox!

I'll also be posting them here on bluegrass redhead. Enjoy!

Pantsuit Politics Episode 1

Pantsuit Politics

My Parenting Philosophy - courtesy of Demi Moore

I wrote this post four years and one baby ago. While many of my thoughts on parenting have shifted over the years, my overall approach hasn't changed.

“I’m not trying to do for them what wasn’t done for me, I’m trying to do for them what they need as individuals.”

— Demi Moore

That's right. My parenting philosophy doesn't come courtesy of a child development expert or parenting guru. While I have gotten amazing advice and tips from Supernanny and Dr. Sears, the one person who has best captured how I feel about being a parent is the former Mrs. Ashton Kutcher.

(Although...fun fact! Demi Moore gave birth to her first child in Paducah, KY! So, in a way, I suppose this sort of makes sense.)

Being a parent is one of the most challenging journeys any of us undertake. The longer I'm on this journey the more I realize that the biggest roadblock most of the time is me. My insecurities - not my children's behavior - cause my worst days as a mother.

I take this job so seriously. Griffin and Amos did not ask to be born. My issues are not their issues. Just because they can't convey their emotions as well as I can doesn't mean they aren't just as capable of having them. I feel like sometimes children are treated as somehow less than. Sure, they can't read or write or wipe their own butts, but that doesn't mean they don't deserve the same care and respect we all do as human beings.

Before Griffin was born, I went to counseling. Due to trauma I experienced in high school, I often had intrusive thoughts about those I love dying in tragic ways. As soon as I got pregnant, I realized that it wasn't this baby's fault that I experienced this trauma and I needed to deal with my issues pronto instead of exercising my demons on him.

Of course, the truth is even if I hadn't gotten therapy, Griffin would have been no help in healing those old wounds. Babies make shit therapists. How many times have I watched one sad addict after another on Intervention recount how they got sober for their new baby, only to relapse months or years later?

Lucky for me, my mom had a similar philosophy.  Maybe it was because her mother was so great or maybe it's because she very wisely dealt with her major issues before having me, but either way she gave me the freedom and guidance to become who I needed to be, not who she needed me to be. I say I'm lucky because I think the hardest behavior to unlearn for your children's sake is any flawed behavior of your own parents. Forget crack - try to stop nagging your children if that's all you saw growing up.

However, in some ways, I feel like the most important part is having a philosophy at all. There is a lot of instinct involved in being a mom but I think consciousness plays just as important a role. Often people speak of choosing to stay married and making a decision every day to put their marriages first. But the truth is being a good parent involves the same daily decision. The decision to be patient, be present, be kind. The decision to ignore all the voices, whether they come from television, parenting magazines, or inside my own head, telling me what kind of mother I should be and listen only to Griffin and Amos - the only two that really matter.

6 Things I Learned in October

I'm participating in Emily P. Freeman's monthly What We Learned, a community link up where you "take some time to reflect on the last 30-ish days before moving ahead into the next."

In fact... I love this idea so much that I'm sharing what I've learned weekly in my Saturday morning email so subscribe if you haven't yet!

1.     Our evening routine needs work.

I spend so much time thinking about our morning routine – how to get a nutritious breakfast made, how to get us out the door on time, how to make sure we remember homework. I recently realized we have basically no evening routine, when I’m tired and really need one the most. Please fee free to share any evening routine tips!

2.     Getting out of a warm bed on a cold morning is HARD.

OK, I didn’t learn this as much as remember it.

3.     One-on-One time with my children is so special.

Griffin and I went on our first mother and son date to dinner and the symphony earlier this month and it was so wonderful to hear his thoughts on things and be able to converse without interruption!

4.     Never EVER take your vehicle to the dealer for repairs.

My van door had been sticking and grinding and/or refusing to shut all together. Since I had to take it to the dealership for a recall repair, I went ahead and asked them about the door. They charged me $60 to tell me it was going to cost $500. Instead, I took it to my local body mechanic for a second opinion. They charged me $120 to fix the door. No diagnostic fee.

5.     Chattanooga is FABULOUS!

I can’t believe I’ve driven through this charming town for years without stopping for a visit. We spent a few days over fall break exploring this Tennessee river town and we are smitten. There were TONS of kid-friendly activities (including but not limited to a Children’s Museum and Aquarium), great food, and public art. The people were friendly. The streets were pedestrian-friendly. We will be back.

6.     Periscope is easy to fire up but not easy to master.

I participated in several of Blog Clarity’s #persiscopewithpurpose prompts over the past month. I love the idea of live streaming. I love that you can interact in such an unfiltered, unedited way. However, figuring out what works and what doesn’t is more difficult. I did an Ask Me Anything session where literally NO ONE showed up and I talked awkwardly at my face for 15 minutes. In other words, when it comes to Periscope, I learned I have lots left to learn.